Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
