have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
