i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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