In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
