yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
