quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
