what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
