They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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