Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
