Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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