Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
