No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
