She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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