I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
