why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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