I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
