bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
