Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
