Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I think people are normalizing furries
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