You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
