you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Randomize
