going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
