at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
