And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
