i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
