Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
