Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just high enough for therapy.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
