she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
