just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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