Whod you bang
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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