shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
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