Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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