She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
