these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Im part way to drunk.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Randomize
