We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
