I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
