you have to choose: penises or morals?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
