Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
