somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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