I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
