Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
