Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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