I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
