are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
