why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
porn star boner night. come get it.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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