Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
