she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
