sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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