If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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