I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
