You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
